The dizzy heights of the ONS experience for me has to be coming home with a gorgeous (tall) Irish pilot mere days after finishing Sally Rooney’s Normal People.

The ONS is always there for you, whether you’re at your lowest, most craving-any-human-touch-possible ebb, or riding high on the fact that you know you look amazing tonight. Let’s not completely disregard this great British tradition though. The words coming to mind mainly being ‘hassle’ and ‘not worth it’. Although as pulling hotspots go, in some student clubs even the walls are likely to be dripping with some undiagnosed STI.Īs a reformed puller myself, I have some words of wisdom to offer on the subject of ONS. It’s the good ol’ the One Night Stand: or “am goingg back w him !! see u spoon” as you’ll text your friend from about 2m away in a crowded Factory. No it’s not Boris Johnson’s latest misdoings, although you’re just as likely to question the rationale and hairstyles of everyone involved. Something so frequently disappointing, fairly messy and almost guaranteed to leave you with a headache. Casual sex is not, she says, like doing the laundry.Such a staple of our culture. But however pro-casual sex she is, Vrangalova warns that you shouldn’t hook-up if you care about seeing them again. This “pleasure gap” may partly explain the difference between men and women’s feelings about casual sex. She points out in a TEDx talk that a study of 20,000 college students found that only 42% of women, compared with 78% of men, had an orgasm in their last hookup. Zhana Vrangalova, a professor of psychology at Cornell University, New York, who runs the Casual Sex Project – a website where people graphically share their encounters – argues that casual sex can improve wellbeing by increasing confidence, sexual pleasure and making people feel desirable. Interestingly, the Canadian study found that high-quality sex rarely led to regret.

Some factors are associated with an increased risk of feeling bad afterwards – these include having sex with someone you have known for less than 24 hours, drinking heavily or taking drugs beforehand, feeling you ought to rather than you want to, and hoping for a relationship afterwards. Nearly half of women and 26% of men felt negatively about the experience. In a study of 832 university students, only 26% of women compared with half of men felt positive after a hookup. Some show both men and women feel depressed, used and lonely after hookups others find casual sex promotes more positive emotions than negative ones. The studies are overwhelmingly on heterosexual American university students and have varying definitions of hookups – from knowing someone for less than 24 hours, to sex in a “friends with benefits” relationship. But the evidence as to whether casual sex, when done with protection against sexually transmitted diseases, is actually bad for anyone is unclear. Women’s regrets focused on shame and self-blame. A Canadian study of 138 female and 62 male students who had casual sex found that men selected physical reasons for regret – such as their partner being insufficiently attractive.

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